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Headhunters: The Tenacious Ten
Introduction This is no longer a deep league. We are down to a standard ten team PPR and the majority of teams are now about to be breaking 200 every week as they bolster rosters and prepare for the final battle. But one team for sure did not break 200 this week. In fact, the only thing they broke were their own hopes and dreams. In Memorium: Bluedevils (KatiePaw) KatiePaw set out to prove everyone on the planet wrong. With a chip on her shoulder the size of the New England Patriots 8.25 carat championship ring, Bluedevils made it their mission to prove that girls knew just as much, if not more, about fantasy football than all the dumb slobbering idiot men in the world. To that end, it was her stark defense of drafting Patrick Mahomes in the first round that became the defining characteristic of her 2019 Headhunters squad. And yes, in typical Headhunters fashion, the end was written before the beginning. It was her idol and her controversial pick, Pattycakes Mahomes, who did her in this week. When Mahomes went down Thursday night it threw the entire NFL into disarray. He is arguably the face of the league and obviously an electric player to watch. But all I could think about was Bluedevils. Were they okay? Could this affect their team's chances of survival? How would they spin this to be somehow about the Patriots fan base? Turns out Mahomes will be okay, but Bluedevils will not. In fact, Patrick's knee was just the beginning of a terrible, no good, awful, bad weekend for B.D. Thielen exited after scoring a TD. Evan Engram hurt his head but not before sucking against the Cardinals in literally the best TE matchup in the league. Breida missed time in the concussion protocol. That Gallman injury a couple weeks ago was a buzzkill. It just sucks. And by "it" I mean Bluedevils, because they barely broke 100 and they are eliminated. At the end of the day, I think we all learn a valuable lesson for the KC Stan and her never-ending crusade to prove that she's smarter than everyone. Fantasy Football does not care what gender, race, ethnicity, religion, age, fan allegiance, or species you are. It will fucking screw you indiscriminately. Bluedevils: New Releases Speaking of Mahomes, how much will the ailing MVP go for this week? All that and a bag of chips on this week's waiver wire: #Patrick Mahomes #Adam Thielen #Evan Engram #Dede Westbrook #Royce Freeman Week Seven Bidding Results Bid Bullets: *Bad Boys might have bid $102 on a backup RB but at least it was his last $102. *Al Snow has awoken. He was first on two bids and 2nd on three bids this week. If he had won all his bids he'd have lost $609. And I see the 69 in there, Zach. GROW UP. *He won Hunter Henry for $96 but he isn't fooling me. I know that's just a 69 in reverse. *With Guilloteam sucking so much, you have to wonder how different the landscape of the league would be if Bluedevils had won the bid for Robert Woods. I mean you don't have to wonder too much, he only scored 15 and Bludeviles lost by like 30. But still...you have to wonder. *Henry VIII grabs Sanu days before he becomes a New England Patriot. And sure, that's great for Sanu, but I don't see how his role improves from what he had in Atlanta. So this could likely be a bad thing for fantasy. *Sorry, just returning back to Hunter Henry. How did we let that happen? Your Financial Portfolio *Best Investor: The Guilloteam *Worst Investor: Chris P's Neat Team Week Seven Results * Biggest Climber: Al Snow (Up 8 Spots) * Biggest Faller: Neck-Fix/Guilloteam (Down 6 Spots) Narrow Defeats Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams: Kings of the Castle Now that we are down to a ten team league, I feel a quick power ranking is better than a Kings and Dungeons section. So let's repurpose the title and use it to show top scorers per week: Amazingly, we had yet to have the same person lead the league in scoring untli this week when Al Snow became the first to do it twice. Of these teams, only Wrath of Saquon has been eliminated. Power Rankings 1. Al Snow's Fav Squad Bad news is that Al Snow finished first without Christian McCaffrey. But the good news is he still has $740 left. Wait...that's also bad news. 2. Chris P's Neat Team Of all the teams that have spent all their money, Chris P is definitely the best. Waiting to get Adams back has to be tough, and with no Ingram this week their flex spots are THIN thin. But at full strength they are prettay, prettay, pretty good. 3. Cam Shaft I don't know much about Keeling as a fantasy football player but I think the label 'quiet assassin' might apply. No shit talk, no show, no trades, just head down grinding to perfect his roster. With no Godwin, Chubb, or Curtis Samuel, and with Wilson playing like if Teddy Bridgewater had stood up after breaking his leg at practice and tried to run a two-minute offense before going to the hospital, the team still dropped 152. 4. The Guilloteam "I'm getting eliminated this week and I'm sad." I wish I had kept count of how many times they have said this but I can at least give you a rough estimate: seven. This week is possibly their biggest test as they have no QB (I'm not counting on Matt Ryan to play). But at least they have three defenses! 5. Neck-Fix and Chill It's tough to do these power rankings knowing that certain teams are about to mightily improve while others are going to remain the same. Neck-Fix will remain this way until the day they die, and you know what? Good for them. I love their commitment to Jason Witten. Money isn't everything. 6. Ron Saquonson (The Artist Formerly Known as Kupp for Your Cobb) I granted this team the name change, and people who know me know how much I hate mid-season name changes. I wanted to see if the Saquon name curse was real. It hasn't proven true yet but there is still time. 7. Bobecue Chicken If this David Johnson injury is more serious than the Cards are letting on it's a problem for the chicken. They essentially have no depth and they are still starting guys that I am surprised to see in a ten-team league. 8. Bad Boys The fact that this team keeps taking hits and keeps narrowly escaping elimination is a testament to just how badly KVR likes to piss me off. If you let this team hang around they will eventually win the whole damn thing, so please for the love of God can we all show up this week? 9. Dog The Kareem Hunter I'm not convinced Nate knows what players he has on his roster because he has gotten his wires so crossed with his other fantasy leagues. 10. Henry VIII The loss of Kerryon Johnson hurts, but not as badly as it being week 8 and Henry having VIII in their team name. The ultimate test will be if they can survive not just without their 2nd best player, but with a team name curse coming for them at full throttle. Average Scores of Eliminated Teams Remaining Budget Bye Weeks *Baltimore Ravens *Dallas Cowboys